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I wished I could be like the other girls in my class. Something just seemed right about who they were, how they were. I sank into a depression that lasted for years.

I tried therapy, anti-depressants, anti-convulsants, and anti-anxiety medications. I finally gave up trying to fix it.

I thought there was nothing I could do. At age 26, after years of repressing these feelings, the dissonance between my mind, body and life itself became too much to handle.

Every morning I woke up feeling more shame and anxiety than ever before. Still, the feelings persisted. I considered suicide. Then in late May of , I came out to my girlfriend of 5 years, pouring my heart out, doing the best I could to explain the toll that ignoring this has taken on me.

By that October, after months of working with a therapist specializing in gender-related issues, I had begun hormone replacement therapy.

Simple enough. I took medication to reduce the testosterone in my system, the very hormone that had nearly destroyed me, and I gave myself a weekly injection of estradiol, one of the more common forms of estrogen found in pubescent and post-pubescent women.

The chronic aches in my joints and pains in my stomach that had been a staple of my life since puberty dissipated.

My mind and body began repairing themselves. Why am I like this? There are a number of theories rooted in medicine, one of the most prominent being a study , published in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology , by Schneider, Pickel and Stalla.

No matter the cause, this is, and has always been, a part of me. If I could have, I would have chosen to be born congruent, mind and body. How am I not one?

Is it because of my chromosomes? There are a number of women with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, sometimes giving them an XY set of chromosomes, which, typically, would be associated with men.

Are they not women? In fact, there was even a recent case of a woman with XY chromosomes who gave birth to a daughter with -- you guessed it -- XY chromosomes.

They found neurons with Y chromosomes in 63 percent of them. A separate study, conducted at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston, discovered that 56 percent of the women they investigated had a Y chromosome, based on a sample of their breast tissue.

The reason is that most successful women live in "stealth mode" or are "woodworked". They leave their pasts behind and hide in plain sight in order to avoid social stigmatization and get on with their new lives.

Their personal successes insure that they assimilate and blend right into society. The social invisibility of successful women who have undergone gender corrections supports the notion that male-to-female transsexualism is extremely rare.

However, intense transsexualism is not all that uncommon. Recent calculations indicate that the condition occurs in about 1 out of every to children born as boys , and that about 1 in every males in the U.

The invisibility of these successes supports notions that gender transitions often have rather sad outcomes. At present, the media only spotlights transsexual people on two occasions, namely when "someone well-known changes sex" and when someone is a victim of discrimination, harassment or attack.

Media stories about someone's "sex change" are never followed-up to find out what happened years later. Instead stories always focus on pre-transition life and struggles during transition and never on their life afterwards.

This lack of balance in exposure shapes society's notion that transition leads to social marginalization or worse, because we "never hear about them again".

Only stories of occasional social failures and victims of harassment and attacks remain visible longer term. Lacking successful role models, and confronted with deliberately staged, stereotypically-prurient images of "transsexuals" from media like the Jerry Springer Show, young trans girls are often terrified to tell anyone about their condition.

Constantly reminded of the violence and discrimination that trans people face, but unaware that large numbers of successful women get beyond such difficulties, many young transsexual girls can't see any way out of their awful predicament.

Social stigmatization of transsexualism leads many young people to internalize a lot of undeserved shame, embarrassment and guilt about their condition.

As a result, young transsexual girls often waste precious years before they seek help, and many never find a way to correct their gender condition.

Recently the veil of invisibility has been lifting, as many post-operative women all around the world have begun creating websites to help others.

Some of these women are quietly "out" within the TS community. Others share their stories by being "virtually out" VO only via the web while otherwise remaining woodworked or in stealth.

We are very fortunate to finally be able to learn about their lives, as they become listed on webpages such as this one.

Lynn hopes that more and more successful women will quietly come out, and feel comfortable sharing their stories this way via the web.

The women listed on these pages are a very diverse group. They are of many different nationalities, races and ethnicities.

They come from a wide range of social classes and family backgrounds. They transitioned at many different ages. Some have been postop a long time, others transitioned more recently.

Some have been "out" for many years, others are still living stealthily. Many of these women had to suffer terrible trials in order to transition, especially those who did so years ago.

Some rose from extremely humble beginnings, including living on the streets, and yet succeeded anyways. Others had easier transitions in more recent times in the more enlightened western countries.

A few were even fortunate enough to have had the support of their parents when they were young. As you'll see, this webpage isn't meant to be an "honor roll" or whatever.

Instead it is meant to be place where these many diverse yet representative role models can come forward and become more visible - role models who are mostly accessible via the internet for interactions and help.

The thing that makes these women "successes" isn't how far they've gone in their careers, or how much money they've made, or how pretty some of them are, or how well known some are as entertainers.

Those accomplishments are very meaningful, and show that transitioning doesn't have to hold a woman back from achieving traditional social measures of success.

However, the real successes we find here are ones of the heart. They are successes in living "life in the large".

We see it in the happy faces, and sense it in between the lines of their stories. These are the successes of women who have survived and corrected their earlier transsexualism, and gone on to find joy and comfort and peace in their lives.

Taken together, our stories will gradually help change people's views of the transsexual condition. After all, we are happy and productive contributors in all walks of life: as doctors and lawyers, as scientists, engineers and programmers, as airline pilots, as entrepreneurs, managers and office workers, as university professors and students, in politics, in education, in law enforcement, in the skilled trades, in modeling and in entertainment.

The realities and completeness of our physical gender transformations cannot be denied. Many of us are wives, lovers or partners in long-term loving relationships.

You can put a compelling human face on the transsexual condition by browsing the websites linked from these pages, which contain information about the experiences of these successful women.

Lynn hopes that these women's stories provide hope, encouragement and role models to others, especially to those young transsexual girls-to-be who are facing gender transition.

As teenagers they and their parents and loved ones need to learn that a complete correction of their gender condition is now possible by applying the knowledge gained by the pathfinders who have gone before, and by exploiting the miracles of modern medicine.

They also need to learn of the profound advantages of undergoing gender correction while young, as opposed to living in angst in the wrong gender for decades and then finally transitioning, in desperation, late in life.

If parents can just learn to see that their transsexual child is really a "girl with a physical problem" rather than a "boy with a mental problem", then that child's future is especially hopeful.

With parental love and support, a young transsexual girl can now reach for her dreams, and go on to live a full and joyous life as a woman.

You can also locate all the women's photos and stories by consulting the D irectory of Successes.

Some Ways to Use these Pages:. The main purpose of these pages is to provide role models for individuals who are facing gender transition, especially young TS girls who are often desperately fearful of what the future might hold for them.

This page is aimed at providing them with hope and with a wide range of diverse role models to help show them the way.

Through these pages, young transitioners may also be able to help their parents, relatives, friends and others important in their lives to understand that undergoing a gender correction does not mean living a marginalized life, and that they will be fine afterwards.

In spite of the difficulties involved in such transitions, the stories on this page show that many postop women go on to live very full and happy lives.

The pages are also aimed at countering public stereotypes of women who have undergone gender corrections.

No one who reads these pages and studies the many stories here can help but have a very different image of such women than those traditionally presented by the media or written about by "experts".

Readers of these pages are strongly encouraged to proactively use this material to help counter negative media stereotypes.

Whenever you read a media report that misrepresents transsexual women, SEND the writer and publisher the URL for this page, and ask them if they've ever seen this website.

If they answer "no", then ask them "Why not? Whenever you hear "experts" say erroneous things about transsexual women, challenge those "experts" by insisting that they learn about and study these pages.

It's always been others: physicians, psychiatrists, religious authority figures, lawyers, "ethicists", politicians, gender counselors, and in recent years gay, lesbian, and feminist activists.

All these outsider "experts" have spoken for us, each with their own axe to grind and their own "expert theories" and spins on who we are and why we are.

For example, see the following pages in my website concerning the controversy surrounding a book by psychologist J. Few of these "experts" have ever known a successful postop woman.

Yet they always feel free to speak "for us". They tell people how to think about us, and spin endless bizarre theories about us.

How have they gotten away with this misrepresentation? The reason is simple: Our very successes have meant that we've been almost "invisible" in the past.

We've also failed by not having the courage to challenge the abusive stereotyping and misrepresentation of who we really are. Well folks, that era is over.

We're no longer going to be invisible, and we are increasingly going to "speak for ourselves". As it turns out, the most effective way we can "speak" is by living very full, productive and happy lives.

Our life stories will then speak volumes, and will help publicly shatter the old stereotypes posed by all those "experts". In the end, who we are isn't a matter of "theory" or "opinion" or "who dominates thought by shouting loudest".

Instead it is simply an empirical matter of observing our real lives in the real world. You can greatly help in this process by making these "successes" as publicly visible as you possibly can, especially among physicians, psychiatrists, religious leaders, lawyers, politicians, gender counselors, etc.

All these outsiders who've been speaking for us need a good lesson in who we really are, and they especially need to know about the now visible, undeniable reality of our successes.

A mother tells the story of her child's transition. Second Edition is now in print! Summary of links to websites and stories of. You cannot help but feel the joy and happiness of all these wonderful, successful women.

Reflections on V-Day in L. A, by Calpernia Addams and Andrea James.

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